Closure is an excellent and important moment in life. It is definitely not easy to come by though. As stated in my previous post I finally let a negative family member go. This extreme release in my life has brought me to an epiphany that has been long needed. I am utterly grateful to my mom for moving me away from the family I thought I needed growing up. When I was little I felt lonely and longed to be with them and 'belong'. I had for so long blamed my mom for "taking me away." I see now the reasoning for her decision and I thanked her. I thanked her for showing me how to be a self - thinker and how to truly love. For teaching me to not be selfish and to give. My mom gave me my open loving heart. I will be eternally grateful for my mom's difficult decision. This experience has lightened my heart and freed a painful place in my soul.
I love you mom, I love you for loving me.
I also forgive myself for thinking as I did. I was a scared and lonely child. Children just want to feel whole. They want strength from the love from their family. They wish to smile and it be true. I wanted to belong. Now, I know I don't need to belong to all corners of my family. I belong to my mom and I belong in my family with my children. That's all I need, that's all what matters. I trust those who love me and I trust in the voices within.